We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
