Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I did not marry a roomba.
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