Already got asked if we're dating
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Randomize
