Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
