I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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