btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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