dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person