we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
