every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
