Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
