I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
