I bet he comes in French.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
