i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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