Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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