Me. At least after what I've been through.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
