i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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