So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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