Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
