So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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