apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
