Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
