my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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