Jerry, you need to find god
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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