I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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