So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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