are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
