He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
