My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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