Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
