I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
