I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
