Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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