She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize