do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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