Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
