bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
