At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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