i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
