she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
