I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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