In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
