Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
His nipple licking is glorious
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