uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
false alarm. still invincible.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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