Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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