professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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