I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
