Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize