He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
