do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
