Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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