yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
