im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
