i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
