Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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